Okay, so I'm browsing the web, and I come across this icon:

( here. )

KAT-TUN Qs for NEWS xD
Because I'm just curious at how I would answer these.

1.) Who do you want for your best friend?
Massu, because he could come shopping with me!

2.) Who do you want as a brother?
Shige, he could make me laugh and we could have serious humble discussions together.

3.) Who do you want as a pet?
Tegoshi, since he's so playful.

4.) Who do you want as a lover/boyfriend?
Yamapi, because you could show him off, haha.

5.) Who do you want as a husband?
Koyama, because he's dependable.

6.) Who do you want as a cousin?
Ryo, not really, but I can make up an awesome story where he's related to me by marriage, and we meet up, fall in love, and everything is hunky-dorky lovely : DDD

KAT-TUN version here.

1. Comment on this post. Only if you feel like it.
2. On request, I will give you a letter.
3. Think of 5 fictional characters or idols whose names begin with that letter.
4. Post their names and your comments on these characters in your LJ.

stolen from kazimierzi, and she gave me the letter "R"!

♥1. Ron W. from Harry Potter. He's adorable and the loyal friend of Harry Potter.
♥2. Ryo N. from NEWS. A pervert with a sexy voice. 'Nuff said.
♥3. Robin from Teen Titans. "Titans, GO!"
♥4. Romeo from Shakespeare. Brain getting lazy.
♥5. Erik the Northman Vampire from the Southern Vampire series. He's not an R, but damnit! I would bed this one, fo'shooo! xDDD

Hello Everyone!

Just letting you guys know that my LJ isn't dead, and that I've been busy with a lot of things; most of them work-related. Getting back into the grind of things, so I haven't had time to update. Not that there is much worth updating back here anyways, haha. Of course, there is the large Europe trip I just took recently in July and August, so I want to organize my 1700 pictures and cross-reference them with my blog on my netbook and then I'll have a nice big fat article talking about that. So it has not been forgotten yet! Keep your eye peeled for that <3

Take care ♥

It's been a while. Lately, there's been so much going on, and many thoughts are swirling in my head. I've been looking for an opportunity to write my feelings out, but I am never truly sure when it is appropriate. Maybe this isn't even one of those moments either, but I needed to let some of this out before my head explodes, haha.

( Gubba, gubba. )

( icons. forgive the puny collection. )
HOW MANY ICONS DO YOU HAVE: 15
OUT OF HOW MANY AVAILABLE ICONS SPACES: 15
IF YOU COULD BUY SPACE FOR MORE, WOULD YOU: Yes.
DO YOUR ICONS MAKE A STATEMENT: That I'm too lazy to make my own.
WHAT FANDOM DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: Currently KAT-TUN and NEWS.
AND THE SECOND MOST: That fat cat : D
WHAT SHIP DO YOU HAVE THE MOST ICONS OF: I only have one Ueda and Kame.
ARE YOUR ICONS MADE MOSTLY BY OTHER PEOPLE: Yes.
DO YOU MAKE ICONS: I would if I had the time.
ARE THEY ANY GOOD: ---
ANIMATED ICONS ARE: non-existent in my collection.

DO THE MEME.
Coding can be found here

Name: Weixin.
Age: 23.
Gender: Opposite of a penis.
Location: Work. 
Favorite KAT-TUN Member(s): Nakamaru, Kame, and Junno.
Favorite KAT-TUN Couple(s): I don't have one, but if I had to choose, Nakamaru and Ueda.
Favorite KAT-TUN Song(s): Currently, SMACK from Nakamaru.
Say Something About Each KAT-TUN Member
→ Kamenashi Kazuya: Loved him in 1 Pound Gospel.
→ Akanishi Jin: Other girls can have him xD
→ Taguchi Junnosuke: I'd play video games with him <3
→ Tanaka Koki: I want to see the art he's into.
→ Ueda Tatsuya: Love his awkward smile : D
→ Nakamaru Yuichi: My number one <3
Other Fandoms: NEWS, Koda Kumi, w-inds.
Friending Policy: My journal is open everyone, so I'd rather that I know you first before I add you if you're itching to be on the friend's list.
Anything Else?: I have to admit, I'm addicted to Koyama right now :3

From my sista, kazimierzi

★ Anyone who looks at this entry must post their current wallpaper.
★ Explain in five sentences why you are using that wallpaper.
★ Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! it's the whole point!



★ Japanese Nakamaru Yuichi from KAT-TUN.
★ He's my favorite from the group.
★ Requested from my sista <3
★ I'm too lazy to change my wallpaper right now.
★ And this will probably stay up until I get a Koyama one from my sista xD

1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List 5 songs (with links to them, if you can find them) that start with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.

kazimierzi gave me the letter L

1.) Love Addiction by Koyama Keiichiro
2.) Love is the Greatest Thing by w-inds.
3.) Lips by KAT-TUN
4.) LOVEJUICE by Akanishi Jin
5.) Lonely Rolling Star by Yohihito Yano, Saki Kabata | Katamari Damacy

I managed to get my current favs in! BWAHAHA! >D

01. Your Middle Name:
02. Age:
03. Single or Taken:
04. Favorite Movie:
05. Favorite Song or Album:
06. Favorite Band/Artist:
07. Dirty or Clean:
08. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
09. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together? (If you have no idea, just say something crazy, it'll entertain me!)
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

I kept seeing these questions presented at CTKT, and I wanted to answer them myself. So here they are!

1.) Who do you want for your best friend?
Koki because he's sensitive and we could share our artistic aspirations together.

2.) Who do you want as a brother?
Taguchi, because he's funny and we'd get into troubles together all the time.

3.) Who do you want as a pet?
Ueda, because he's so pretty and loyal.

4.) Who do you want as a lover/boyfriend?
Kame, because he's so supportive and truthworthy.

5.) Who do you want as a husband?
Nakamaru because he's very dependable (unless I make him fix the roof, or hang the house Christmas lights, haha.)

6.) Who do you want as a cousin?
Jin, because I don't know where else to put him, haha.

Well, I'll do my best not to turn this into a sob journal, but writing therapy is really good for the soul sometimes. Sometimes it helps to concentrate on the feelings welling inside of me and to analysis it, convert it, transform it, and release it. I always believed in facing it because tucking it in the corner does nothing, and like a disease, it grows if left alone.

So, I just want to release the feelings I have right now. I am almost done with school. It feels like I've been there forever. I am 23 years old, but I am tired of being a student and living at home. There is more to the world than education, and somehow, we have twisted our ideals of a well-educated society into something that does not feel as wholesome. I love learning, whether it is in school or not. I want to continue going to Art school and learning more, doing more, creating more in my life, but schooling is getting expensive, getting competitive, and funding is getting cut back. Jobs have demanded more out of our educational career, and yet in this economical decline, that has now bitten us in the butt because companies can not afford the over-qualified people. It's a double edge sword. I love school and being able to have discussions, meet people, and learning many different kinds of subjects, but at the same time, I feel like a bird in a cage. There is so much more to my life I have not been able to do yet. I want to go out into the world, own property, meet more people, work, family, and dedicate more time for myself rather than submerging myself into study groups and homework.

So I was planning on graduating in Spring, but because I was missing some units, I'm not graduating until Fall. That's okay since I'm not leaving the area any time real soon. But one of the last classes required of an Art major like myself was to take a sculpture class. Figure Sculpture was at night, so since I am busy at night, I decided to take Carving in the morning. Now I almost wished I forced myself to take the Figure Sculpture class. Carving is labor-intensive. So exhausting. I choose to work with marble. So exhausting. Did I mention that it is so exhausting? Well, it really is. I love it and I hate it. It's new and interesting, but so frustrating. I have never worked in something that physically exhausted me to this degree and actually resisted me. I mean, I'm working on 90 pound rock. Even with power tools, I am always sore, tired, and dirty at the end of the day. It's not a glamorous thing to do.

Halfway into the semester, my parents decide to open a new restaurant business. I'm a first generation immigrant, so my parents do not know a lot of english. Hence, I became their representative, attending business meetings, negotiations, phone conferences, and their paperwork. Then when the business opened up, I helped them out at the work, working at home with their paperwork and there as an employee. My parents work there all day, so on top of the paperwork and business phone calls, I also had to take care of my siblings and the house. Buy food, maintain supplies, and do the chores. Sometimes I'd ask them to help me out, but I still try to do most of it myself. All this while maintaining a part-time job. Yup, I work at a print shop in town.

Which left me a week before the consensus date to decide if I wanted to stay in the class. It was a tough decision, not to mention a whole $200 investment on a piece of rock. I probably should have gone to my advisor, but I don't like to quit things half way. And I really was enjoying the class. So I decided to stick with it. But I overestimated and couldn't keep up with the work. Along with my underlying discomfort with being a student that I was having trouble facing, I started to slack off. I didn't put in as much time into my stone as I should have. Instead of using my free time to go to the studio, I went to the restaurant to work or stayed home and did a few chores, hung out with my silbings. My boyfriend was in town, so he helped me a lot, did things that I couldn't do during the day, but I was stressed out, and would rather spending my down-time with him instead.

So a week before the due date, I went to my professor, and she flat out told me that she could see that I wasn't investing enough time in the class and because of that, she couldn't pass me. I was going to fail the class. Yes, I know it was my fault for not dealing with it in time and overestimating myself, and sometimes these things happen. Sometimes we have our failures. But it still hurts. After speaking with my professor and the dean of the art department, they were willing to let me take an incomplete and we will work out an agreement on a few terms and an extended deadline that will allow me to pass the class.

So now, I am both relieved and sadden at the same time. It's a strange place to be, but I will just have to do my best. I think I will approach my parents and have them set out a schedule with me on the days that they think they will need me at the restaurant, and any other time, I will just go to the studio and work on my stone some more. I need to start being serious towards my art. I have a nice semester ahead of me full of good old-fashion book work, so it will be a nice break from the academic art scene to focus and recollect myself before I graduate and end this chapter of my life.

Wish me luck :)

Some people have tough luck. Some people are born into positions that are full of unfortunate events. Life isn't fair and is often cruel. Only a handful of people are truly blessed in life and, at the least, have no financial problems. Even luckier are those sound of mind and soul, and wealthy.

Which bring me to my brother. We're not a wealthy family, but we get by just fine. Enough to live comfortably. We are pretty normal, caring mother, hard-working father, two older sisters for him to look up to and come to for things. Being the youngest, he has no worries, no bills, no responsibilities, no emotional strife of any kind.

He is spoiled fucking rotten.

He likes to play on MMO games a lot, frequently finding them free all over the place online. We gave him a second-hand computer when he was in middle school, just like how I had received mine in hopes that he will adapt and use technology with ease. When I was his age, I explored my potential with the computer and often did a lot of tinkering. I learned how to use software, how to communicate with peers and family, and research materials online. He sits at the computer and plays a lot of MMO games and reads manga online. If there is a problem, he doesn't know how to fix it, and often doesn't know how to use other software; He only uses Microsoft Word to write his reports, but even then, I'm not even sure if he knows how to access the page format settings if he needed to for college research papers.

But these things can be learned and aren't really the issue here. If he enjoys playing computer games, it's not really my place to say since I enjoy video games myself. What is the issue his attitude towards everyone else whenever he has to leave his precious computer.

For example. On a given day, I see recyclables being piled up on the counter and the dishes in the sink. Usually I do wash them, but sometimes I'd like a little help. So while I make my mind up to go tackle the dishes, I will ask my brother, "Richard, could you please take out the recycles to the blue bin?" Usually taking out the recyclables is a 2 minute job at the most, and all he had to take was about 5 plastic bottles out. Not that big of a deal, right?

My brother will give me this look that makes you want to slap his face and tell him that he should never show that kind of face to his elders because it's disrespect and grunts "Ugh," as if I had told him to memorize and recite the complete U.S History in two days. With precise dates. Then he stomps his feet as he walks by me with his elbows tucked in and his arms flinging up and down in frustration. After that, if I continue to try to communicate with him, he rewards me with the silent treatment. Honest, the silent treatment over 5 plastic bottles?

Sometimes when he doesn't feel like getting up to do the errand you asked him to do, he will just sit there in his chair, or at his desk like a lump rock and then if my boyfriend, Brian, is around, he'll pick him up and drag him around. Along with the silent treatment.

I don't understand. I still go to school, make time to work at the Art studio, hold a part-time job, be my parents' business representative at business meetings, help them do their paperwork by translating, and take care of the house while the parents are busy with the business. My work is often unappreciated, but I do it anyways. I am always so busy with things, but I don't complain when I have shit I need to get done. I know he's going through adolescence, but it's still so frustrating. He plays on the computer, has no chores, so when I ask a very small task of him, his posture automatically slouches into "I don't wanna do it" mode. He's really testing me because I feel like one of these days I'm just going to pop him a good one in the jaw and I won't even be sorry.

By the way, he's sixteen years old.

Sometimes when I get angry, people tell me, "Aww, Weixin, don't be mad."

Why not? I'm rarely ever physical with my outbursts. Sometimes I raise my voice, but because of my lack of physical response, they feel that I am internalizing it. That isn't true at all. I am just simply experiencing my emotions. This is my way of "acting" upon them.

An analogy I used to describe this to someone is driving. When you drive, you need to get from point A to point B. There is traveling time. You run into traffic; there are signals and pedestrians; and distance. It takes time to reach point A to point B. We can't just simply teleport there.

So in the same way, I need time to experience my emotions. I feel them, acknowledge them, and then let them go. Like a hot tea that cools with each passing second, I, too, will let go of my negative emotions when I am done. I'm not "internalizing" them. I am simply feeling them.

It just annoys me a little when someone tells me not to cry, or not be sad, or don't get angry. There is healing in the experience. So, please, just allow me to be.